Finding rejuvenation when life is hard.

Photo by Sies Kranen on Unsplash

For no particular reason, last week felt a little rough for me. Battling hay fever, extra volunteering time, and bad news from a loved one left me feeling like my sofa was the best place in the world. My psyche cleverly amplified the overwhelm by paying close attention to the news to see what the US has in store for Canada next, and following our upcoming federal election. Add some low-key self-doubt about the projects I’ve been working on and a sprinkling of procrastination, and you have the perfect recipe for how to keep me completely frozen in place.

I have been thinking a lot about discipline and how easy it is to upset a healthy routine focused on the right things. Why are the “right” things sometimes difficult to maintain? I would feel better going for a walk instead of watching the news. I would feel better if I applied paint to canvas and experimented more. I would feel better if I woke up just a little earlier and spent more time meditating before diving into my day. But did I do any of these things last week? Nope.

I understand that sometimes we need to switch off and recuperate, but I don’t feel that last week’s situation warranted a total shutdown of activity. However, berating myself whilst in the throes of a downward spiral is not only unhelpful, it is hurtful. How can I peacefully and non-violently encourage myself to get back on track?

Exploring this has led me to a few realizations:

1. I feel better when I have a sense of purpose.

2. I feel focused when I am in service to others.

3. I am at my best when I have a routine.

Another pesky piece to this is my ego. I worry about how my work is perceived by others. While teaching yoga, part of my barometer is the number of people who attend my classes. Of late, those numbers have dwindled a bit, which (likely) has absolutely nothing to do with me, and has everything to do with whether a yoga practice is a priority for all the reasons I listed above that everyone experiences, plus financial insecurities and increases in the cost of almost everything. But here’s the thing: I know my practice resonates with many students. I know that my classes are gentle and rejuvenating. I know that there is an audience for what I offer.

I have remembered that if I consistently show up, I believe that others will too. If you’re struggling right now, please know I have space for you. And, if you’re feeling great, I hope you’ll consider my yoga classes to support your great work as an awesome human.

I hope you will contact me if you find any barriers to sticking with a regular practice. My goal is to provide a consistent place and time where people commit to having a regular rejuvenating practice in an affordable and inclusive space. I will continue to explore these ideas and present them here on my blog and in class on my mat.